i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
