If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
