Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
