Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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