I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize