I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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