just tell him i said nine months
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
