I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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