Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize