It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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