I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
