I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
