Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
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So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I would fuck him just for his dog
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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