i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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