CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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