My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
