This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
