considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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