so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
