Pants 0. Shit 1.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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