We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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