Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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