My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize