Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize