the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize