yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
