Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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