Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
