he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
