Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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