i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
