You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize