I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
