Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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