I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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