Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
