stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
