I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
