well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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