whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
