if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
