Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize