Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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