Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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