Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
