Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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