Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
