I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize