Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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