do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
