He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize