They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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