Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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