So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
