We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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