She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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