why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
